Once again thank you for writing this. I was hooked on the sentence about no longer needing to worry about what was going on in your home. That was one of my first clues that things could not be saved. He banked on the fact that I would be constant. I had to get used to the fact that he was not. As for abandoning someone who was ill, I dealt with that too. Yes, he is ill and it must be his choice to deal with his illnesses ranging from addiction to diabetes. A hard thing to appreciate in our co-dependent culture. Stay strong when you need to, be weak and weepy when you must. Your daughters have you and that is a lot.